Gene Simmons: Family Jewels
A&E
Mondays, 10 p.m./9 CT

The transformation from wicked to innocuous is expected in fairy tales — the Big Bad Wolf dresses in cross-species drag to lure Little Red Riding Hood, an evil queen disguises to trick Snow White into eating a poison apple. And so it is in Reality TV, where Ozzy Osbourne started a transformational trend: from bad boy to teddy bear.

Whether it be Hulk Hogan as an overly-protective pappy, Tommy Lee as a collegiate bando, Travis Barker as a doting dope or Ozzy himself as a slurring elder goon, it's been a Reality TV formula of many formulations. And here it is again: KISS frontman, Gene Simmons with kids, without theatrics and not having sex with thousands of groupies.

Gene Simmons: Family Jewels is similar to its notable predecessors, but not entirely a reprise. Viewers expecting Gene's infamous KISS persona will be disappointed. Viewers expecting a quirky version of American Nuclear Family Life will be pleased, and possibly even entertained.

Simmons, his partner of 23 years (they were never wed) Shannon Tweed, herself a former Playboy playmate, and their two astonishingly normal children (Nick, 17 and Sophie, 14) star in what is really just a show about a goofy dad; albeit one that was recently goofy on an international stage.

Primarily a chronicle of the Simmons' daily life, the show combines confessionals/commentary, old home movie clips of daddy-daughter dances and babies bathing in the kitchen sink along with the usual celebrity reality show heavily-edited narrative. Both Simmons and Tweed, once famous for wearing too much make-up and parading around bare-breasted, are now dedicated to family life and spend their time either with or discussing their children. But absent, thankfully, are the painful Full House heart-to-hearts; leaving only Gene Simmons bumbling through fatherhood.

While the show's concept is, admittedly, derivative, the Simmons-Tweed clan manage to somewhat refresh an exhausted theme by focusing on honest family dynamics, instead of bizarreness of post-KISS life (though that normalcy itself seems rather unusual for a man who claims to have had 4,600 sexual partners).

In the show, Simmons is presented as a once-promiscuous, unromantic. In one characteristic scene, after Sophie reads aloud from a safe-sex public service announcement her father will perform; "One in four people watching this have STDs;" she turns to Gene and asks "How many out of 4,600 have STDs? What's that ratio?" It's a surreal "post-rock star" moment that only strays from ridiculousness by being imbued with the wonderful banality of typical father-daughter banter. And, somehow, it's that kind of banality that makes the show work.

In another episode, Simmons tries to plan a special surprise for Tweed on their 23rd "Un-Anniversary" (the commemoration of their wed-less union). He decides to have Mad Hatter themed family portraits taken and — much to Shannon's unhappy surprise -- the house is overrun with photographer and an entourage. When asked if she likes her gift, she replies with a vehement "I hate it." It's a moment straight from the rejected teleplays of Everybody Loves Raymond; where the man, constantly vying for his lady's approval, is almost always denied. Though pathetic, these genuine interactions make the show seem believable.

Gene misses the mark on more than one occasion (per show), but always takes it lightly. The distinction between his professional guise and his actual personality are clearly opposite, which gives Family Jewels a workable premise. (If he were as his persona led us to believe, he would not so be comfortable with broadcasting such familial ridicule.)

While highlighting the Simmons' extravagant lifestyles would raise public fascination, it would also separate the celebrity-ish family from everyone else. Conversely, trying to bridge the gap with a sappy, overly doting father figure would come off contrived and artificial. Americans envy fame, but can't connect with the famous. People identify with the screw ups, as petty foibles are part of the human experience.

It is these moments that make the characters convincing and Gene Simmons: Family Jewels distinguishable from other shows in the genre. After all, only a nominal percent of the population can relate to a satanic rock star, but there is a romantically clueless whore in everyone.

— Sarah D'Andrea (sarah dot dandrea at gmail dot com)