Nothing is more frustrating when watching an auto race on television than realizing something exciting happened — like a change of lead, a near-fatal crash or a bouncy fist-pump from a driver's hot wife — while you had to sit through 30 more beer ads. So this year, the Disney-owned networks and the Indy Racing League series persuaded sponsors to forego interrupting left turns in progress. When it's time for a commercial during coverage of the open-wheel series, the screen with the race shrinks to about one-third its normal size, in the left lower corner in the screen, while the ads pop up on the right half. (The upper two-thirds contains the race logo and standings.)

It was a brilliant move to make coverage of a low-wattage racing series stand out. If you watch NASCAR on Fox and NBC, as most racing fans prefer, it seems like you get 200 laps of actual racing in a 500-lap race, and 300 more interrupted by commercial after commercial.

Sure, you say, the race cars themselves are moving billboards, and the drivers are walking billboards, and the winner of the race afterward has a mysterious, bodyless, unattached hand, like the Addams Family's Thing, popping up on screen to change the driver's cap every five words, which the driver can't say without mentioning his great sponsor every third word. So who cares about whether you're seeing commercials? I answer, if we're going to see commercials, I'd rather see the ones going 200 mph than the static spots calling on guys to fight "taste loss" in their beer by drinking something watery that has no discernible taste.

ESPN and ABC started using SIDE-BY-SIDE — say it extra loud — at IRL's season-opening race in Homestead, Fla., on March 6. I caught it for the first time watching the April 3 Honda Grand Prix of St. Petersburg on ESPN. I watched it on a 13-inch screen TV in my kitchen, so when the commercial breaks came, it looked like they were racing on a St. Petersburg postage stamp.

Still, I was enthralled. While the ads showed on the right, I didn't miss seeing Tomas Scheckter's inevitable crash, which occurred during the commercial break. (I know most of you know don't know who Tomas Scheckter is, and why I say his crash was inevitable. Just trust me on this.) The only times the screen didn't split were for commercial breaks handled by the local station, but those were relatively few and far between. It was the sort of genius that makes you think, "Why didn't they do this sooner?" (Apparently, because you have to convince every single sponsor to do it — one veto, and that scotches it.) It also made me think, hey, maybe somebody might use this for sports like soccer.

ESPN and ABC were already a step ahead of me. The networks are already planning to use SIDE-BY-SIDE — shout it from the rooftops! — for their coverage of Major League Soccer. Maybe they could even use it for National Hockey League coverage, assuming the league hasn't labor-strifed itself out of business. When a sport with a constant rhythm gets interrupted by ads, it's jarring, and with SIDE-BY-SIDE — my voice is starting to get raw — you can stay in the flow.

But here's the problem. The SIDE-BY-SIDE — I'm yelling this in sign language now — technology provides not only an opportunity to see an uninterrupted event, but also a way to get around viewers' resistance to advertising.

Advertising is like Pepe Le Pew, and we are like that mute, helpless black cat with the knack for running under a freshly painted white fence. Each time we come up with a technology to get away from ads — such as TiVo — the vile and smarmy skunks of advertising brainstorm ways to pursue us, and smother us with hugs and kisses, begging us to come to Ze Casbah so we may make beautiful music together, while we try to wriggle out.

You can easily foresee a TV world in which sponsors are persuaded that every show, sporting event or not, could use a split-screen. And that every show could run continuously on the left, while advertising continuously runs on the right. Instead of the commercial break that interrupts your show, you get the commercial break that never ends.

What I'm saying is, the technology right now is good. But I foresee a future where it could be used for ... EEEEEEVILLLLLLLLLL! Enjoy the good times while they last. This will be your only warning.

E-mail Bob Cook at bobc@flakmag.com.