Flak Magazine: Kick Out the Sports! 09.22.03

This is a message for all you high schoolers, particularly the guys, out there ringing in the new athletic year by sexually assaulting your teammates as a presumed form of hazing: I think you're gay. Gay gay gay gay gay.

You may not be a friend of Dorothy's, and you may be too young to have even heard of her, but you're gay. You look like the Straight Guy, but believe me, you have the Queer Eye.

How else to explain your urge to, allegedly, put some sort of proxy penis, such as a broomstick, golf ball, pine cone, dry erase marker or finger, into a younger teammate's rear end?

The latest allegations involve Long Island's Mepham High School. Allegedly three football players sexually assaulted younger teammates during an out-of-state camp in what's being referred to as hazing gone awry; when the local school board could get little information from players about what happened, they shut down Mepham's football team for the season.

I know that in every high school, except for maybe that gay one New York is opening, being called gay is an insult.

I don't mean it that way. I hope by getting in your face about your homophobia masking your fears you may be gay, you face up to the problems that cause you to act out on others in such violent ways.

Let me say a couple things up front. First, I'm not saying you are gay, just that I think you are. I don't want you going all Tom Cruise on me. Second, I'm not equating homosexuality with deviant behavior; straight people have their own sexual issues played out as violence or fetishes or whatever. And as the rush of couples to Canada to get married proves, gay people want their domestic lives to be the idealized boredom to which straights aspire. I'm no psychologist, but I know there's got to be some power and self-esteem issues going on when you assault someone less powerful than yourself. And while a lot of bullies will take your lunch money, they don't necessarily reach down your pants to get it.

It can't be easy for you. Here you are, a leader in your school, your community, a symbol of all that is macho. Yet you participate in an activity that features much butt-slapping and community showering. If you were to make the slightest peep that you find another man attractive, you would be a pariah in your locker room.

It's hard enough to be 15, 16, 17 years old and admit, to yourself as much as anyone else, you might be gay. There's enough sexual confusion as it is. As athlete, it seems admitting you're gay is pretty much impossible. Sure, there was one high school football player in Massachusetts who came out, with little backlash, but you're pretty sure your school would be as welcoming and understanding as Jeremy Shockey.

Notice you don't even see college or pro athletes coming out until they're retired.

So I have a little sympathy for you.

However, I suspect you haven't gotten to that level of self-awareness. You've probably had it drummed into your head by teammates, coaches, maybe even your parents that the role of the star high school athlete is to wield power over the weak and shag as many cheerleaders as possible. The community may tell you, whatever you do off the field shouldn't matter come game time.

Or maybe you're just a self-important jerk.

So I'm going to call you out. I'm not saying you have to announce to the world you're gay. That's your business. I'm just saying you need to be honest with yourself.

And leave your teammates the hell alone. They're on your side, remember?

E-mail Bob Cook at bobc@flakmag.com.