Bears vs. Colts, Behrens vs. Cook

Every day from now until Super Bowl XLI, Flak Magazine will publish an e-mail exchange between Andy Behrens (sports writer and dedicated Bears fan) and Bob Cook (sports writer and diehard Colts fan). Let the (pre)game begin.

Super Bowl Sunday, Feb. 4

FROM: Andy Behrens
TO: Bob Cook

Speaking of teams that aren't nearly as good as earlier iterations of themselves, let's talk about these Colts.

Last season the Indianapolis defense allowed 307.1 yards per game and 15.4 points to their opponents; their offense gained 362.4 yards per game and scored 27.4 points. They were, most of us agreed, the best team in football. This year? Well, the offense seems just about identical, gaining 379.4 yards per game and scoring an average of 26.7 points (the same as the Bears). But the defense is horrid. They allow 332.2 yards and 22.5 points. Yeah, I know that in the playoffs they handled a one-dimensional Kansas City offense and a no-dimensional Baltimore offense rather well. And yes, I know that they held the weakest Patriot team in years to 34 points. Still, you'll forgive me if I don't yet fear the Colts D, with or without Bob Sanders.

It's time to start predicting things, Bob. Like the final score: 41-20, Bears win. And the Super Bowl MVP: Devin Hester. And the exact moment when I purchase one of these: approximately 2 pm yesterday.

We need to also discuss the terms of a bet. Here's my proposal: when the Colts lose, you have to write a haiku celebrating a Bear of my choosing. Obviously, if the unimaginable happens, I would haiku about a Colt.

It makes sense you wouldn't fear the Colts' D. That is, it makes sense if you're as arrogant as Rex Grossman. And for all the hype about the Bears' D, let's note that New Orleans did it a big favor by refusing to run the ball at all. And that it gave up 24 points to a Seattle team with a gimpy-armed quarterback throwing to receivers who couldn't catch a cold.

So I will make a prediction as well. I will say Colts, 31-17. Devin Hester leads to a touchdown — either by returning a kick, or fumbling one away. MVP will inevitably be Peyton Manning, in part because he's going to spread the ball around like cream cheese on a bagel. My second most likely MVP: Dallas Clark, who is going to leave burn marks on Chicago's safeties.

I will accept your haiku bet, though I should remind you, a haiku is about nature. So expect to be writing about Cato June in a lily field. Or maybe we should call it senryu, which is a haiku form that emphasizes human foibles. Something like:

Quarterback Griese
Loves to hit the bottle — oops
Trips over his dog

Somehow, I already see you thinking you can stick me with trying to do 5-7-5 with "Brendon Ayanbadejo."

Cut that meat!