Bears vs. Colts, Behrens vs. Cook

Every day from now until Super Bowl XLI, Flak Magazine will publish an e-mail exchange between Andy Behrens (sports writer and dedicated Bears fan) and Bob Cook (sports writer and diehard Colts fan). Let the (pre)game begin.

Wednesday, Jan. 31

FROM: Andy Behrens
TO: Bob Cook

The Colts just held two crap running backs to one touchdown and 61 yards on 15 carries. "Stuffed"? No. I'd say there's a fair chance Thomas Jones and Cedric Benson will each get 15 Super Bowl carries. We'll see how that goes for an Indianapolis defense that allowed an NFL-worst 173 rushing yards per game. And you're not giving Ogunleye credit for stripping Brees? Or Vasher credit for intercepting him? Or Harris credit for ripping the ball away from Colston? Or that referee credit for reviewing the Michael Lewis fumble and reinforcing a ruling that was probably wrong? OK, so the ref isn't technically a Bear, and he didn't force the turnover in the strictest sense. But still, Chicago created three honest turnovers and one dubious turnover against a New Orleans offense that has been — just so we're clear — at least as good as the Colts. The Bears also led the NFL in forcing turnovers and, if I recall correctly, it didn't snow in all those games.

Mmmm, ditch weed. That's the Indiana state flower, right? I would really love to see Rod Blagojevich confronted with a bag full of ditch weed. Makes me think of Gabe Kaplan in Fast Break for some reason.

Hey, are you still adhering to that whole don't-wear-Colts-gear-on-gameday thing? I can totally respect that.

"We'll never forget the way you thrilled the nation with your T-formation..."

In fact, I still adhere to the do-not-wear-Colts-gear rule. On off days, I wear Colts' shirts, and no pants.

By the way, I see the so-called tough judge who wouldn't let Tank Johnson leave the state is letting him leave for the Super Bowl. Fanboy loser. I also see that the Chicago media is speculating the cheap-ass Bears, who make Lovie Smith the lowest-paid coach of the year, could lose him to the newly opened position in Dallas.

This brings up something else — you Chicago people like to talk like you're the big city to Indianapolis' toothless country cousin, but I think in your hearts you fear you're as small-time as the rest of us Midwestern hicks. Heck, just look at the way your city's sports teams are run — cheap, cheap, cheap. (Except for the Cubs, who are now spending money like a drunken lottery winner.) Meanwhile, the Pacers spend more on salaries than the Bulls (before you note which team is better in the standings, let me say that last night: Indiana 98, Chicago 91), and I think Indianapolis' high school hockey teams spend more than the Blackhawks. At least they're on TV more often. I think everybody in Chicago is worried that a Colts victory could expose the city as vulnerable to the onrushing Hoosier hordes, and take that Second City, civic middle-child complex to a new, deeper level.

Prepare to be shaking your head in shame, city boy!