Super Bowl XXXVII: Break 11
"Replayed Pass" | "The Bachelorette"
Summary: ABC synergizes with this Super Bowl-oriented spot plugging "The Bachelorette" — with yet another ref checking the replay monitor. This time, though, he's actually watching the hottt guys and gal of the ABC reality show cavort in a hot tub. Implicit in the ad is the idea of third base, which makes you wonder why they didn't save it for the World Series.
High Point: Remembering the earlier, funnier zebra-ref ad.
Will this commercial save our failing economy? Unscripted television is cheap to produce, and even cheaper to advertise on your own network. Plus, even more out-of-work actors can look forward to being displaced in bit parts on TV programs as "Bachelorette" participants struggle to fill out their promised 15 minutes.
"Jason Returns" | 20/20
Summary: It's taken a long time for Jason Priestly to recover from his very serious drag
racing accident. Now, he feels up to facing Barbara Walters' hard-hitting questions about how he's feeling. He's mostly recovered, although whether he's overcome the psychological trauma of following
the Barenaked Ladies around Canada is yet to be seen.
High Point: Intertitles with bold text spelling out the narration, in case you
missed it.
Economic impact: Negative, in that it will dissuade people from partaking
in NASCAR, just like when Dale Earnhardt
died … oh, wait …
"Firing Melfi" | Acura
Summary: Another recycled spot, this one with Peter, a new Acura owner, dumping his
hypnotherapist. The set-up is supposed to fake you out into thinking he's dumping his girlfriend now that he's got an Acura, but really, he's just spiraling into Crash-like auto-psychosis.
High Point: Just as he says they can't see one another, suggesting that he
no longer needs this woman because he can, uh, entertain himself.
Economic impact: What the ad doesn't say is that the therapist has placed a post-hypnotic suggestion in Peter to buy the Acura her husband is trying to get rid of.
This unscrupulous practice is exactly the kind of thing that led to the Enron collapse.
"Oh God! You Devil" | Bruce Almighty
Summary: God grants Jim Carrey His powers for a week, leading Carrey to summon gusts
that upturn skirts and to potty-train his dalmatian. A moment of walking on water makes explicit what was once a clever idea in The Truman Show.
High Point: That hydrant — it totally blew up! Totally!
Economic impact: The inevitably huge opening weekend of this movie will show
that studios can save on writers' fees for blockbusters.
"The Pits" | Diet Pepsi
Summary: A mud-caked, mosh-pitting teen looks over to see his father rocking
out beside him, holding a Diet Pepsi. Rather than making Diet Pepsi look cool,
it makes Diet Pepsi look like a sad, ineffectual struggle to reclaim youth. Which may be what they were going for.
High Point: The son's horrible reaction to seeing a can of Diet Pepsi.
Economic impact: Diet Pepsi, when watered down and flavor-enhanced by a firehose and
mud, can go a lot longer for a family on a budget.
"Why Are There So Few Ads About Dot-Coms?" | Hotjobs.com
Summary: Factory workers and their foreman sing the classic "The Rainbow Connection" from The Muppet Movie, capturing the sense of longing common to both job-seeker and banjo-playing frogs. Like Dancer in the Dark but more optimistic and with fewer people with last names like Gudmundsdottir.
High Point: It's always good to hear this song, even when sung by people who can't,
per se, sing.
Economic impact: Hotjobs.com can allow our factory workers to leave their jobs, undermining the US manufacturing base. Good thing there all all these cool New Economy jobs … oh, damn.
"Push-Up Broad" | Alias
Summary: Our lingerie-clad secret agent gives a new meaning to "undercover" (zing!).
High Point: USA Today is quoted as saying, "It's everything you'd want in a show
following the Super Bowl." The whole thought process undergirding that — that there's a
collective appreciation of the Platonic form of Post-Super-Bowl Show, and that USA Today is
the organization that would best understand it — plunges you into a near-Lovecraftian fit of gibbering.
Economic impact: Get it? "Undercover?" 'Cause she's wearing lingerie, which one might
wear in bed — that is, "under the covers?" "Of the bed?" Aw yeah.
— Sean Weitner (sean@flakmag.com)
— Dan Norton)
— Andy Ross (apross@earthlink.net)
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