Superbowl XXXVII: Break 10
"Expialidocious" | "The Jimmy Kimmel Show"
Summary: "I've got a huge guest," says Jimmy Kimmel of the new Jimmy Kimmel Show.
While we should probably give the guy a chance, it's not a good sign that his signature gag
is a white Don King/Buckwheat/Al Sharpton impersonator saying that the show will be
"expialidocious."
Low Point: The glazed look of horror on the Don King impersonator's face.
Meant to be so real that it's funny, it's actually so real that it's real.
Will this commercial save our failing economy? Inexplicably, yes.
"2 Great Teams" | "Good Morning America"
Summary: The "Good Morning America" anchors meekly compare themselves to both the
Raiders and the Buccaneers. Ironically, left to their own devices, both the Raiders and
the Buccaneers would probably eat the GMA team's livers. That is all.
"Viewers are Confused by Three Possibly Mediocre Shows" | Super Monday ABC
Summary: Fast as lightning, ABC trots out its new Monday night lineup. First,
there's "Miracles," as previously discussed. No more lucid or compelling on its second viewing. Then: "Veritas, the Quest." A teenage boy, bare-chested, has to recover an artifact, and he hits some concrete with a hammer to demonstrate his sincerity. Presumably, every show addresses his ongoing quest to
gain acceptance to Harvard.
Finally, we get a sneak peak of "The Practice":
He's dead.
Objection.
Mr. Young, that's enough.
High Point: A shirtless teenager, his hammer and a broken rock.
Economic Impact: Consumption of ABC on Monday nights — way, way up! Also:
The commercial is likely to induce a horrific national depression. Stock up on butter,
carving knives and undergarments while you still can.
"A Guy Gets Shoved Around" | "The New Dragnet"
Summary: Tougher cops. Tougher criminals. An old, done-to-death police serial.
Suspects getting maltreated, but you like it, because you believe the government is too soft
on criminals anyway, and if the guy's getting roughed up by cops, he's probably guilty anyway.
Say... why doesn't someone do a show about
Copts
and robbers?
High Point: None.
Economic Impact: Negligible. But to quote the Tom Hanks rap from
Dragnet the movie: "They got the girl tied up! Now that's not nice! I think she
is the victim of a sacrifice!"
Dan Aykroyd: Buddy, it's time to put this party on ice.
"Matt Birk Went to Harvard" | NFL and The United Way
Summary: My notes are totally illegible for this one. Apparently, there's this guy
Matt Birk. He's a football player. He went to Harvard. And he's doing some ad for The United Way.
Don't forget the children, everybody. That's what Matt Birk would say, were he still alive.
— James Norton (jrnorton@flakmag.com)
the agony of halftime! ›
