The Papal iPod
by Flak Staff

The Catholic News Service recently reported that Vatican employees gave Pope Benedict XVI a new iPod nano loaded with Vatican Radio programming and classical music.

But what about the old Papal iPod and all its musical goodness?

This leaves the pontiff with a dilemma. Does he consolidate his music collection, or fumble around with two different mp3 players? Thanks to a Flak alum positioned snugly within the ranks of the Papal catering service, we obtained the previous playlist of His Holiness, and the answer seems pretty clear: wipe out the Brahms, and keep it old-school.

"Jesus He Knows Me" | Genesis

"Dear God" | XTC

"Personal Jesus" | Depeche Mode

"Father Figure" | George Michael

"Faith" | George Michael

"I Want Your Sex {part 2}" | George Michael

"Spirit in the Sky" | Norman Greenbaum [1]

"Don't Stop Believin'" | Journey

"Jesus is Just All Right With Me" | The Doobie Brothers

"One of Us" by Joan Osborne

"Sister Christian"| Night Ranger

"Heaven" | Talking Heads

"Pretty Fly for a Rabbi" | Weird Al

"Only Sixteen" | Sam Cooke

"Sexy and 17" | The Stray Cats

"Thank Heaven for Little Girls" | Maurice Chevalier

"How a Resurrection Really Feels" | The Hold Steady

"Hell's Bells" | AC/DC

"Highway to Hell" | AC/DC

"Big Balls" | AC/DC [2]

"Heaven is Place on Earth" | Belinda Carlisle

"Jesus, Etc." | Wilco

"Sunday Morning Coming Down" | Kris Kristofferson

"The Junket (What You Want, Natalie?)" | SNL & Natalie Portman [3]

"Rough Boys" | Pete Townshend

"The Christian Life" | The Louvin Brothers

"They Threw Me Out of Church" | Wesley Willis

"Dancing Queen" | ABBA [4]

"Stand By Your Man" by Tammy Wynette

"Pray" | MC Hammer

"Unborn Child" | Seals and Crofts

"Dead Babies" | Alice Cooper

"Vicar in a Tutu" | The Smiths

"Sunday Bloody Sunday" | U2 [5]

"In God We Trust" | Stryper [6]

E-mail Flak at letters at flakmag dot com.

— graphic by Benjamin Chandler (blchandler at sbcglobal dot net)