Weekly Shredder 33:
Bush Press Conference
by James Norton

What would happen if President Bush conducted an entire press conference in clear, strictly honest English? Let's translate Wednesday's appearance.

BUSH: I believe we're making progress on convincing the American people of two things: One, nothing will change for seniors, those who have retired or near retirement; and secondly, that we must work together to make sure the [Social Security] system works for a younger generation of Americans. That's progress.

There's no concrete evidence we're convincing the American people of two things: One, seniors will be insulated from the volatile and basically destructive impact of privatizing Social Security; and secondly, that a basically healthy program that doesn't face benefit reductions until 2042 at the earliest is more important than addressing the exploding cost of Medicare.

BUSH: Members, I hope, would not talk about a Band-Aid solution, but I think it's important for them to talk about a permanent fix, something that will last forever. I think the voters will appreciate people who come up with constructive suggestions, not statements merely in opposition of some ideas.

For archives, audio, and background about the column, click here.

Members, I hope, would not talk about a Band-Aid solution, but I think it's important for them to talk about a fix that would actually lead to the slow, progresive destruction of Social Security, something that will last forever. I think the voters will appreciate people who come up with destructive suggestions, not statements merely in support of an essentially healthy government program.

BUSH: I repeat, personal accounts do not permanently fix the solution. They make the solution more attractive for the individual worker. And that's important for people for understand, John, and that's why it's very important for Congress to discuss this issue.

[Completely unintelligible]

BUSH: [Italian Prime Minister Berlusconi] brought up the issue of Italian troops in Iraq and said, first of all, he wanted me to know that there was no change in his policy, that, in fact, any withdrawals would be done in consultation with allies and would be done depending upon the ability of Iraqis to defend themselves.

[Italian Prime Minister Berlusconi] brought up the issue of Italian troops in Iraq and said, first of all, he wanted me to know that he was going to pull out his troops in deference to overwhelmingly hostile public opinion, that, in fact, any withdrawals would be done in consultation with political expediency, but not so rapidly as to humiliate and enrage an American government prone to punishing foreign countries that go against its sometimes arbitrary preferences.

Q: Mr. President, can you explain why you've approved of and expanded the practice of what's called rendition, of transferring individuals out of US custody to countries where human rights groups and your own State Department say torture is common for people under custody?

BUSH: The post-9/11 world, the United States must make sure we protect our people and our friends from attack. That was the charge we have been given. And one way to do so is to arrest people and send them back to their country of origin with the promise that they won't be tortured. That's the promise we receive. This country does not believe in torture. We do believe in protecting ourselves. We don't believe in torture.

The post-9/11 world, the United States must make sure we protect our people and our friends from attack. That was the charge we have been given. And one way to have basically no impact on that goal is to arrest people, including people later found to be completely innocent, and send them back to their country of origin or other countries, making sure that they're countries with a record of torturing people. That's the promise we receive. This country does not believe in legalizing torture. We do believe in protecting ourselves. We don't believe in torture on American soil that we could get busted for.

Q: As commander-in-chief, what is it that Uzbekistan can do in interrogating an individual that the United States can't?

BUSH: We seek assurances that nobody will be tortured when we render a person back to their home country.

We seek assurances that prisoners will get "special Uzbek hospitality" that they couldn't get on American soil.

Q: Paul Wolfowitz, who was the — a chief architect of one of the most unpopular wars in our history —

BUSH: (Laughter.) That's an interesting start. (Laughter.)

(Laughter.) You cock-sucker. (Laughter.)

Q: is your choice to be the president of the World Bank. What kind of signal does that send to the rest of the world?

BUSH: First of all, I think people — I appreciate the world leaders taking my phone calls as I explained to them why I think Paul will be a strong president of the World Bank. I've said he's a man of good experiences.

First of all, I think people — I appreciate the world leaders taking my phone calls as I explained to them why I think Paul will be a loyal president of the World Bank, despite the fact he's a neocon foreign policy guy, not an economics guy. I've said he's a man who'll do what I tell him to and take one for the home team.

Ah. Refreshing.

E-mail James Norton at jim@flakmag.com.

— graphic by Derek Evernden (derek@ocellus.net)