Wayne Lewis

Wayne Lewis was originally two cells in the bodies of two entirely different people. After nine and a half months of furious cellular activity, Wayne was expelled into the cold, cruel world. He never got over the shock.

No one at Flak has ever actually met Wayne in the conventional sense, and therefore it's not totally clear whether he exists at all. The blurry figment above is the only known image of Wayne captured to film. Via e-mail he describes himself as "gruesomely deformed," and when pressed for details only exclaims, "Don't look at me! I'm hideous." It's unknown whether this damage is real or purely imagined, but whilst in his cups Wayne has been known to make the apocryphal claim that he was "maimed by rock 'n' roll."

In confessional moments Wayne reports being surprised, cowed even, to find himself in the company of a group as hip and sexy as the Flak staff. As such, a certain awkwardness and cold distance characterizes most of his contact with his fellows, and indeed with humans in general.

While his home turf is a dimly-lit single room in Koreatown, by night Wayne is sometimes sighted stalking the streets, back alleys and abandoned off-ramps of the greater Los Angeles basin, in search of some grand and elusive sonic and emotional fix.

Occasionally he pauses to release a dispatch to the good people at Flak or the New Times. But nothing can chase away that nagging feeling, as powerful nearly as the shadow of mortality itself, that no one really cares.

In a more or less futile effort to prove that yes, he does in fact exist goddamn it, Wayne has rented web space at http://www.papercoversrock.net. The results, as always, are inconclusive.

— Wayne Lewis (capsighs@pacbell.net)