Feng Shui

Feng Shui is a mystery.

This ancient Chinese art (although what from China ISN'T billed as "ancient," actually?) is a way to live one's life in harmony with one's surroundings, ensuring good luck and happiness by the careful placement of furniture, the skillful arrangement of knicknacks and clever landscaping. It embodies aspects of both the spiritual and aesthetic, in a way westerners often find baffling, enchanting or stupid.

Feng Shui purports to have many answers to life's mysteries. To explore this, we decided to borrow something ancient from western culture: the dialogue.

Speaking on behalf of Feng Shui is "The Illustrated Encyclopedia of Feng Shui," by Lillian Too. On behalf of the world's non-Feng Shui practioners, we interviewed Dr. Dov Dobrovski, a professor of educational psychology and assistant dean at the College of Arts and Letters at Toronto.

Feng Shui: The best way to improve your social life and your popularity is to ensure that there are no plants in the southwest corner of your office or living room at home. These create a disharmony of elements in an important corner of the home. Instead, enhance this corner with a bright light.

Dr. Dobrovski: I'm not an expert in popularity per se but I would have to say I disagree with this one. I think people like a sense of humor — I think people really like people who are fun to be around, and who make them feel secure about themselves while at the same time projecting an aura of excitement — and a sort of spontaneity and general competence is actually very exciting, I think.

I don't know about the plants and things, but the last time I remember thinking of a bright light in relation to popularity, it was because there was a woman at a party who wouldn't stop talking about her near-death experience. She wasn't a very popular woman. At least not with me, or my wife.

Question: How badly does the toilet hurt my health luck?

Feng Shui: Very badly indeed if it is located in a sector of the home which affects your health. According to the trigram arrangements method this is identified as the east sector. If you use a toilet in this part of the home it will have a negative effect on your health. To overcome this, hang a windchime inside the toilet.

Dr. Dobrovski: I don't even know how to begin with that. Where would the chime go? Wouldn't it get in the way all the time? I know my sons would not respect the chime, no matter how much I tried to tell them about good or bad Feng Shui. I have to say I don't think that this is a good idea.

Question: What will wooden beams do if I have them over my bed?

Feng Shui: Beams above your head will shoot deadly poisonous arrows directly into your sleeping area - this can cause illness or relationship problems.

Dr. Dobrovski: I think the poisonous arrows are a kind of metaphor in this belief system, so we can't just take the description at its face value. When you go into the idea of a resonant negative energy, it is very easy to just explain it away, and say "that's just superstition, that's crazy talk." But actually, that's probably what this is. This is pretty much just crazy talk.

Question: What can I do to improve my love life?

Feng Shui: First, you will have to make sure the southwest corner of your home and room are not afflicted. Next you should energize this corner with all the symbols of love and marriage, and finally it does help to wear the double happiness ring, since this enhances the Chi of love that surrounds you. You might want to look at my Feng Shui page on jewelry at my website for further information on this and other personal energizers (http://www.lilliantoojewellery.com)

Dr. Dobrovski: I'm glad that the Feng Shui book is being consistent about the particular corner of the house. That's a sign that there might be something to it. But it might be good to keep in mind that if the author stands to make a profit, personally, from selling the jewelry she is talking about, that there might be a sort of spiritual conflict of interest involved. There is a reason why, in the Bible, we don't read about Jesus saying to the disciples, "I will save you and your sons and daughters, and it will only cost you 20 pieces of silver, 10 if you act now." I don't always agree with the Bible and what it says, but I agree that Jesus probably would not have had a web page selling his Jesus jewelry.

Question: How should one prepare for a trip?

Feng Shui: Strike a singing bowl before your trip to ensure good travel luck. If you see a limping dog before embarking on a journey, be aware this is an ill omen.

Dr. Dobrovski: I find that if I don't pack shaving cream, I always regret it. It's a little thing, but by the time you get to the mirror and you have your razor out, it's always too much to ask that you stop, and put on pants and a belt, and run down to the hotel concession area to buy shaving cream.

Also, I think dogs are actually pretty lucky, when you think about it, even if they limp - they are man's oldest friend, and we have really domesticated them to do a lot of amazing things. I think if I see a dog before a journey and it's limping, I'm sad for the dog, but happy I saw it, because I really do like dogs as an animal.

— James Norton (jrnorton@flakmag.com)