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2007 Also-Ran Awards: The Steak Knives
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2005 Steak Knives
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2005 STEAK KNIVES

Introduction
Second-best Picture
Second-best Director
Second-best Actress
Second-best Actor
Second-best Screenplay

Review of A Dirty Shame
Review of Fahrenheit 9/11
Doublethink: Fahrenheit 9/11 & Christopher Hitchens
Review of Garden State
Review of I'll Sleep When I'm Dead
Review of The Incredibles
Review of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Review of Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle
Harold & Kumar: Fear of a Vidalia Onion Planet
Review of Mean Girls
Seeing Mean Girls With Your Little Sister
Mean Girls: The Tyranny of George
Review of Spider-Man 2
Review of Team America
Review of The Terminal

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2005 Flak Film Also-Ran Awards: Second-Best Screenplay

2005 Flak Film Also-Ran Awards: The Steak Knives
Second-best Screenplay Nominees

Also-Ran ThumbWes Anderson & Noah Baumbach
The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

Screenplays with this much zaniness tend to be unfairly dismissed. Anderson and Baumbach get terrific mileage out the central Cousteau parody, which also helps bind together the looser parts of the film. There's some great repartee, but what really sets the screenplay apart are its touches of genius, from the Moby Dick angle to the meta-cinematic cutaway shots of the ship that also reveal the sound stage. Whatever else you say about The Life Aquatic, it's unlike any other release this year and about as far from a biopic as you can get. D.W. Young


Also-Ran ThumbJon Hurwitz & Hayden Schlossberg
Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle

Comedies get no respect in Hollywood. Neither do Asian Americans. Thus Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle is a social necessity, a subversively hilarious comedy that's the best fodder A Magazine has had since Better Luck Tomorrow. First-time writers Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg throw the media's racial caution to the wind for a wolf in stoner's clothing: White Castle is the symbol of accomplishment, even if its sliders are totally foul. American cultural politics gets its stereotypes skewered from all sides — not even Neil Patrick Harris is sacred — and Dude, Where's My Car's Abbott and Costello-isms are brilliantly recast as the first generation's struggle of assimilation versus keepin' it real. Plus, Harold and Kumar ride a cheetah. How cool is that? Tony Nigro


Also-Ran ThumbJoshua Marston
Maria Full of Grace

Maria Full of Grace has an undeniable hook — we know that drug mules exist, but few of us can actually contemplate what they do. As Maria, Catalina Sandino Moreno garnered an Oscar nomination, mostly because those who saw the movie can't believe she actually swallowed all those big drug pellets. But the film, written and directed by Joshua Marston, isn't about the swallowing of the drugs; it's about why Maria feels the need to swallow them. When we see her bored and running her sewing machine needle over fabric, we recognize the archetype immediately. She defies her boss and runs around with her boyfriend — like many of us at that age, she just wants to be a kid. But when her youthful indulgence results in pregnancy, Marston gradually builds to her decision to become a mule. This isn't an "adult" decision, but it's a start, and along her journey, she takes small steps toward her sacrifice in the final scene. The farther she gets from home, the more responsibility she takes on, and the more her character grows. The movie is so engrossing because her growth is incremental. Maria is appropriately complex, the type of person who would rationalize the extraordinary risks she takes. She's pragmatic and empathetic, desperate but not reckless - not a hero to envy, but a survivor that earns the audience's respect. But credit for Maria shouldn't be credited just to Moreno, although she is very good. Marston's screenplay skillfully measures Maria's development, which makes her decisions, and ultimately the character, credible to the audience. Stephen Himes


Also-Ran ThumbTrey Parker, Matt Stone & Pam Brady
Team America: World Police

Not only did Team America have the best collection of one-liners all year ("Gary, you can't blame yourself for what gorillas did"), the film improves with subsequent viewing. Team America's raucous comedy turns poignant, capturing thoughtful Americans' moods and the paradox the War on Terror presents — after Sept. 11, 2001, we all felt two feet tall, ludicrous in comparison to the towering problems we now faced, and so we masked that insecurity with the orgy of patriotism that followed ("America/fuck yeah!"). While aware that we're stirring up hornets' nests with our cartoonish actions overseas in lands about which we know little ("dirka dirka jihad" indeed), we resent those of our countrymen and erstwhile allies willing to sit back at do nothing. Too many people identified Team America's message with that of the actual team, instead of seeing a whip-smart, pessimistic film that refused to find solutions where we as a nation have found none. Martin Scribbs


Also-Ran ThumbEdgar Wright & Simon Pegg
Shaun of the Dead

Shaun of the Dead bears all the requisite traits of a Working Title project: timely laughs, tight story, minimal wandering and proportional payoff. It goes above and beyond with its acute sense of homage. Shaun is a horror movie fan's movie. Edgar Wright (also director) and Simon Pegg (also leading man) penned an opus that pays careful respect to many influential horror flicks: Dawn of the Dead, Night of the Living Dead, 28 Days Later, Evil Dead and more. It's a giant bow to George Romero and his work, all folded into their own shot at the zombie genre. And it's Goddamn hilarious. Is it a comedy that doubles as a horror movie or vice versa? Either way, it's high-test fuel for a magnificent movie. Andy Stilp


Second-best Picture
Second-best Director
Second-best Actress
Second-best Actor

ALSO BY …

Also by Flak Film:
2005 Also Rans: The Steak Knives
2004 Oscars Dialogues
2004 Oscars Roundtable
In Pursuit of Oscarness
Seven Influential Developments in the Cinema
A Tolkien of Our Affection

 
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