Flak Magazine Letters
May-Aug 2003
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08-20-03
To: Claire Zulkey
Re: In Memoriam: Bill Peet
How sad I was to see Bill Peet has passed away. My son (now 23 years old) grew up with the beloved stories of Mr. Peet. They always had the substance of interest, humor and meaning. How easy it was to see my own human traits as well as those around me. One of the warm memories is that the stories never failed to end on a positive note and the blessing of forgiveness.
What a marvelous storyteller and artist. Every week we came home from the library with an arm-load of Bill Peet books; to the point the librarian asked if I had a day care!
I'll always remember how my son and I wrote to Mr. Peet and extolled our gratitude and praise for his work. He sent us a handwritten note with a bundle of fliers and a poster. My son took it school and it inspired the teacher to involve the whole class to find a favorite author and write to him/her.
He will always be remembered and missed.
Bobbie Vedvick
08-14-03
To: James Norton
Re: Arby's Oven Mitt ads
I just read your article about the Arby's "Oven Mitt" commercials, and I laughed a number of times. There's one thing I thought of when I first encountered the ads.
The first time I saw one of them, I was immediately reminded of the current "Jack" ads for Jack in the Box. I have been completely surprised by how the ad company keeps making that same basic idea work, ad after ad. After giving it some thought, I think there is a common issue that explains why Jack works, but Oven Mitt doesn't.
Everyone who interacts with Oven Mitt seems to be completely at ease with it. No one reacts strangely at the sight of a self-propelled, talking oven mitt. The actors just talk in a normal, even manner. The result is that the tone of the ad is to make the mitt seem "ordinary". The Jack ads, on the other hand, frequently play off of the insanity of this man-with-a-massive-ball-for-a-head moving through the real world we inhabit. People stop and stare at him, or act in outlandish ways when facing him. Instead of making his presence seem ordinary, the ads play up the surreal nature of Jack's presence. (They even go toward the bizzare nature of his creation: one ad has his mother talking about how difficult his childbirth was.)
In short, the failure of the Oven Mitt ads is that they take a bizzare, impossible creature and work very hard to make him mundane. I don't think Oven Mitt could have ever been a "classic" ad character, but he could have at least been funny. Sadly, Arby's and their ad team didn't have the courage to push the ads far enough.
David Meek
08-11-03
To: Geoff Wolinetz
Re: A Matter of Repect
FLAK!
I just wanted to say THANK YOU for the article "A Matter of Respect" by Geoff Wolinetz. It was very well done. Here, in Toronto, there has been both support and anger surrounding the recent approval of gay marriages. As Canadians I feel we are fortunate to have (at least) a prime minister who can separate religion from law. Unlike George Bush who has NEVER made that distinction himself.
Instead he claims that he "believes a marriage is between a man and a woman, and [that this]ought to be codified one way or the other." In order to codify marriage as an act between a man and a woman one would need to codify gender and sex. How is this possible? Gender is something we PERFORM, it is based on what we understand it to be from the moment we arrive on this planet (baby girls wrapped in pink, boys in blue).
It is only with the codification of gender or sex (man has a penis, woman a vagina) that terms such as "gay" marriages and "homo" exist. Codifying the uncodifiable only creates rules that many people cannot help breaking (those born with both sexual organs, castration, vaginal mulilation, removal of breasts) or in the case of gender, codification stands only to freeze the struggle for equality (women ARE this, men ARE this).
If we can come to understand that sex and gender are unidentifiable by code then the idea of same sex partners, or same sex ANYTHING becomes compleatly irrelevant. And terms such as "homo" hold even less merit beyond the purpose of ignorance.
thanks again,
kim bosch
07-24-03
To: James Norton
Re: High Summer
I have to say a big warm THANKS for the article about summertime. I am an office dweller and on the weekends I spend as much time as possible fizzing and popping and aging my skin in the sun. I have included some suggestions I have for summer music with my comments.
"Unemployed in Summertime" by Emiliana Torrini
Sample Lyric:
Let's get drunk on Saturday
Walk up Primrose Hill until we lose our way
We''ll get sunburned on the grass
Playing silly buggers 'till I make a pass
And you laugh at my face
Comment: I don't really know how to play "silly buggers" but I do know how to play Balderdash, a very highly recommended summertime game.
"In The Summertime" by Mungo Jerry
Sample Lyric:
In the summertime when the weather is high
You can stretch right up and touch the sky
When the weather's fine
You got women, you got women on your mind
Have a drink, have a drive
Go out and see what you can find
Comment: I don't recommend drinking and driving or the only thing you will "find" is yourself in jail or dead...and THAT is a big summer-bummer.
"Summertime" Sarah Harmer version
Sample Lyric:
Summertime and the living is easy
Fish are jumping and the cotton is high
Oh, your Daddy's rich and your Momma's good looking
So hush, little baby, don't you cry
Comment: I think maybe this doesn't apply to anyone really. Unless of course you grow cotton, are near somewhere fish can jump (fish bowl not valid), you have a rich father and a hot mom. Oh and if you are crying....
In The Summertime by Bob Dylan
Sample Lyric:
In the summertime, ah in the summertime,
In the summertime when you were with me.
Comment: Leave it to Bob Dylan to keep the lyrics simple. Am I right?!?
kim bosch
07-18-03
To: James Norton
Re: B&M Canned Bread
It was so weird as we were talking @ work , I and another woman I work with who is close to my age began talking about our comfort foods as a child. We always had the large roll of bologna that you had to slice, spam, large fat linked wieners and this the B and M Brown Bread in a can. Another woman who is 10 years younger had never heard of it, we all laughed then I popped on to this and saw your instructions on hoe to wrap and eat it with butter and THAT IS EXACTLY HOW WE DID IT AND WHAT WE ATE IT WITH beans and weenies!!!
How great thanks for the blast from the past
Cindy Dowty
07-08-03
To: James Norton
Re: The McGriddle
i am the mcgriddle spokesperson and my name is elmer.
i dont agree with your comments on the mcgriddle.
your fingers dont get greasy when u eat a tasty mcgriddle, they get finger lickin' good. i dont think ronald mcdonald will appreciate your comments either. and whats this reference to al sharpton. these mcgriddles are awesome!!@! i would be eating one right now if i could. my role model bill boese invented the mcgriddle and recommended it to ronald mcdonald.
i will challenge you to a mcgriddle eating contest to prove once and for all the mcgriddle is the king of breakfast. correct that, the king of any meal.!!! so in conclusion, since i am the mcgriddle spokesperson and my name is elmer, i expect a corrected article on the mighty mcgriddle by july 11th posted on the internet.
p.s. please send me any mcgriddle coupons you have.
disgruntled mcgriddle master,
elmer
Re: The McGriddle
Dear Elmer,
Thanks for writing. To answer your comments...
> your fingers dont get greasy when u eat a tasty mcgriddle, they get finger lickin' good.
I think we're closer on this than you realize. One man's grease is another man's vichyssoise. I'm afraid that my standards are just out of touch.
> i dont think ronald mcdonald will appreciate your comments either.
Though I have the deepest respect for Mr. McDonald's opinion on all matters culinary - and for his clout within the industry - I would put forward the idea that his defense of the McGriddle might be motivated as much by self interest as a genuine, dispassionate belief in great cuisine.
> and whats this reference to al sharpton.
You ask a keen question. The remark was, of course, a metaphor for the current state of the Democratic party. I'm afraid I might have been a bit obtuse.
> i will challenge you to a mcgriddle eating contest
A remarkable challenge. Unfortunately, I have an emotional condition that precludes my participation. But I happily offer up the services of Flak's managing editor, Eric Wittmershaus. Please let me know when and where our gustatory giant should appear.
> i expect a corrected article on the mighty mcgriddle by july 11th posted on the internet.
Keep checking your browser. If it doesn't appear by July 11, try hitting the "refresh" button.
> p.s. please send me any mcgriddle coupons you have.
Coming your way, parcel post.
best regards,
James Norton
06-30-03
To: Stephanie Kuenn
Re: Fastlane
Hi... just wanna complain on something... u wrote bout fastlane n said: "Fastlane" could've been fun, but it just isn't. It's well-funded incompetence on parade, and it will only delight the absolute lowest common denominator. Or Homer Simpson, but that probably goes without saying."
U were SO wrong... it the best television show these days in sweden! N we got hella good tvshows here....however... i just wanna say that fastlane is a well done, godd-acting entertayning series... nice effects too... well just wanna tell u how wrong u were... now when my task is over i just wanna say: have a gr8 life... C ya in hell, everyone's gonna end up ther anyways.
:P// Love kristina "fastlanahollic" from sweden
06-23-03
To: J. Daniel Janzen
Re: Euchre
I grew up in Southern Indiana, and the wonderful game of Euchre has been a dear friend since I was very young. I have described the game and how to play it at least a hundred times to the uninitiated — and over the decades (I am mid-50s) my attempts at enlightening others have varied in effectiveness. Now, I will simply print out and show them your very cogent article. You have done a good deed for euchre players everywhere (may our tribe increase)! Clint Vaught
P.S. — Yahoo Games has an interesting Euchre site which seems to always have an ample number of players and different levels of skill....
06-20-03
To: Bob Cook
Re: KOtS: Open-Mike Battle
Props to you for your piece on Wilbon and Jordan. As a former journalist who lives in the D.C. area, Wilbon, Kornheiser and the Post sports department nauseate me on an almost daily basis. If you haven't done so already, I suggest you read The City Paper's cover story(ies), especially, "Michael Jordan Stole My Date."
Keep up the good work.
Harv
06-20-03
To: J. Daniel Janzen
Re: Euchre
Mr. Janzen:
I was born in Montana, but am essentially a product of Indiana. My family moved here when I was two weeks shy of three. We brought with us reformist Catholic and labor-rooted values. I spent too much time with adults and ended up with a prematurely inflated vocabulary. My sister listened to "weird music" (amounting to late 1980s "progressive" and "college" selections). These things set me apart in my childhood's suburban, Southside Indianapolis subdivision. But as I got older and overcame these daunting differences in culture, one key factor emerged as a social constraint:
I grew up in a gin-playing family but lived in a euchre world.
I have tried to like euchre. All attempts to embrace the "trick" aspect of the card game have been unsuccessful. Through high school drama parties, several boyfriends, and much peer pressure, my stubborn nature has thwarted any and all efforts to integrate this game into my game-loving personality. But your review gives me renewed hope. Maybe I won't be the self-designated disc jockey at the next casual card-centered get together. Maybe I will relish laying down trump cards. I'm going to try again.
Thanks,
Kirsten Eamon
05-21-03
To: Julia Lipman
Re: Television Without Pity
I just wanted to express my thanks for your article regarding "Television Without Pity." You've summed up several ongoing frustrations of mine, not the least of which is that the weekly recap of series such as "Buffy" is left to people who clearly have no shred of enthusiasm about the task. Of course, opinions will vary, but when the reviewer begins each week with something to the tune of "I hate this series and everyone on it," is the episode in question likely to receive a fair hearing? I don't want them to whitewash a show's faults, but relentless negativity for its own sake is not criticism. Furthermore, it's a disservice not only to the producers, but--if we accept the alleged influence of the site--the audience as well.
The cutesy character nicknames appear indicative of a desire to exclude readers who aren't in the clique. For example, TWP consistently refers to the supporting cast of "Angel" as the "MoG." Apparently, one episode made reference to the line "angels and ministers of grace," and that's all it took for the name to stick. I've been reading the recaps for years, but I only know the meaning of this abbreviation because it was mentioned in a recent newspaper article about the site. (And don't ask me why the character of Lorne is only referred to as "Cary.")
One final gripe is the length of the recaps; some can run as long as 18 pages. Such verbosity encourages off-topic rants and name-dropping of other clique members. I tend to skim the reviews, because I don't really want to read 18 pages of excruciating detail. Perhaps that's why I missed the initial "MoG" reference? I can't help but wonder if the bandwidth costs that threaten TWPs livelihood aren't caused in part by the need to load page after page.
In general, I think it's a bad idea for producers of TV shows to listen too closely to their fans. This is not to suggest that they should be openly disdainful of their viewers' desires, as sometimes seems to be the case with George Lucas. But writing to please the fans inevitably results in a series that's solely for fans to the exclusion of everyone else. In the end, shows can rarely depend upon their fan base for support; a series' biggest detractors invariably turn out to be so-called fans.
— David Thiel
